The First Entry: May this Day in May Always Be Remembered.

I felt something was missing from my life. I’m a 17 year girl who in her own right holds alot of opinions and emotions and observations. So, what better to do than start a blog?

I never really relished in the idea of keeping a so-called ‘blog’, I kept holding myself back, asking “what if no one reads it?” and “what if I get hate-mail?!”. But then I thought, who gives a shit? I let go of all those insecurites and thought “fuck it” (famous last lines of a fool).

I think what really pushed me to begin this is the fact that I want to become a journalist. I am more tilted towards “fashion journalism”. Anna Wintour eat your heart out.
I joke, obviously. I see her as a role model, something to strive to be like. Funnily enough during the summer I managed (well my well connected Mother managed) to get my a work-experience placement at Marie Claire. (If you don’t know what it is, I have one word: Google) It is a fantastic opportunity to witness the world of that kind of career path.

I was talking to a careers woman at my 6^th form, and she said, -rather bluntly- you’re only as good as the last thing you write. And then I thought, I don’t actually write anything. So what better way to fix that, then to start practising on a blog used for a hobby? Well writing big long articles for Harpers Bazaar would be a good start, but hey! Rome wasn’t built in a day. However, my real passion I think; lies within fiction.

Ever since I was a naive child (who thought I could take over the world somehow, and still do at the ripe old age of 17), I wanted to be a writer. I felt from a young age an incessant need to keep creating something, and whether it was a story about how my little pony couldn’t find her way home (aged 6) or whether it was about the girl who moved to australia (aged 10) or whether it was about a boy who couldn’t accept the death of his beloved lizard (aged 14) or about a dystopian world set in a gothic fantasy world ( aged 15) or a tragic love story (aged 16)...I always created. I always had that process of creating something, even if it was tedious and unimportant, because for me...it was important. It was important to channel something that came from my mind; my machine.

I gave up writing for 2 years because I didn’t think I was good enough. But someone changed that, a woman who I stay loyal to, completely devoted to and who is basically my hero once said:

“ I think it’s when you say ‘oh...I’m too tired, let me go to bed...’ That’s when the creativty stops coming. If God calls you, pick up the damn phone...Hello?”
That affected me alot. It was time to pick up that phone.
It made me realise, I was so frightened of loosing that creativity I had been blessed with, and this woman seemed to me shouting at me, PICK UP THE PHONE. And, I thank her for that. I thank her for alot, and someday I’ll write an entry about her. For now though, I won’t.

I digress slightly. In a basic summary: I want to be a writer. It’s not a matter of if, but more so when. That sounds arrogant yes, but in this society and the time we  live in, the only way to succeed (in my humble opinion) is to be completely sure in yourself of what you are creating. If you’re not, and someone or something critises you harshly, not only can it be detrimental, but completely life changing.

I don’t want that!

So some arrogance is needed (but only little, because you can come across as an obnoxious prick, and look like an idiot especially if your work is awful), so you just need to be sure of your work. What are you writing, and more importantly, why?

I guess, there will always be a need, personally to me, to keep creating. I don’t know the answer to that “why?” yet, but for now, all I can recognise, is that it is an imperative for me.

What’s your need in life? Ask yourself, is it even a need? Could you live without it? If so, it is not a need.

In summary therefore, I would like to conclude my first blog entry. The reason why I’ve started my blog: I want to be a journalist. I want to be a writer. I need to be a writer.


(Yes the grammar was bad, my spelling may be unpolished, but it’s my first entry, I’m allowed some excuse. Oh I bet the future me is cringing right now...)